This is a topic I could write about all day lol. This process at times will seem impossible. However, I want to give you some honest advice with no fluff just realness.
As a 46-year-old mom who has 5 boys,(1 angel baby), and currently has a toddler I can tell you it looks a lot different than you think and that is ok.
I think one of the biggest mistakes we make is trying to regain the life we had before children, and try to make your life look just like that. We often equate that to contentment.
The reality is, that you have a new normal and a new self, you have to focus on being yourself with your kid(s) factored in, and be happy about it. Too often we are told we can do it all the same way before children and you will see all these articles telling you that you can do it all, and they give you all these crazy tips that will make you miserable and depressed and leave you feeling guilty.
Freedom
I want you to be free from that trap I was in for a long time, I even kept trying to hold on to this fake life of looking put together at all times when I had multiple children.
The beautiful thing is you are regaining yourself, just an updated version of it with your children in it, one that works for you, and it will be just as amazing, if not better.
The Comparison trap
Don’t listen to people telling you things will be the same as before kids and you have to be that person to be whole and complete. The thing is you will find a perfect balance between doing what you did before while learning how to include your kids in that plus having time to yourself, however, this takes time to navigate and see what works for you.
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Let Me Give You a Few Tips
- Seek God first- I cannot stress that enough, this will keep you grounded and help you see things from his view, and it will look different from the busyness the world offers. He also provides you with peace that is beyond human comprehension. Also, read your bible even if it’s 5 minutes. A good devotional can be helpful as well.
- Don’t be afraid to ask your spouse or partner for help watching the kids, also it’s okay to lean on family to help. This does not make you a bad or lazy mom.
- Take advantage of quiet time to do some things for yourself, sleep when the baby sleeps, or relax and watch TV. Those dishes and housework can wait, you don’t need a rigid schedule.
- Exercise, even if you spend 10 minutes a day will do wonders and help you feel better. I like doing free workouts on YouTube, one of my favorite channels is Grow With Jo
- Get yourself a playpen for mobile babies, yes it is ok to take a break from constantly chasing the little one, and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about putting your baby in there if you need a little break. They are safe there. I even got a large one and would sit in it with my baby while I worked online or rested that way I knew he couldn’t get into anything.
- If you are feeling any bit of overwhelm seek help immediately and don’t let it pile up. With a new baby, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or depressed. Seeking help will offer you another perspective on your situation and others can give you tips on how to get through it. I always say seek God first, but it is also ok and I recommend seeking out other people for help, we were put here to help uplift others without condemnation.
Sometimes self-care does not have to be big, expensive, or complicated. When you are caring for littles all day, even a few simple items can make motherhood feel a little softer I put together a short list of self-care finds for overwhelmed moms, things that can help with rest, comfort, and mental clutter, and feeling like your self again, even in small ways.
Shop the list: Simple Self-Care Essentials for Overwhelmed Moms
I didn’t want to be overwhelming in this post, and will definitely write more on this topic, but save this and refer back to these tips if you feel overwhelmed. I love helping moms feel grounded and important. Trust me as a mom of 4 boys, I have gone through every emotion you can imagine, including grief and child loss. I hope this article blesses you ❤️
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